Baby Shower and Some Jackson Musings...

This past weekend, I was treated to a fabulous afternoon by two of my friends Suzanne and Dana (who also happen to be neighbors). They threw me an above and beyond beautiful pink and green themed baby shower, and it was absolutely wonderful! It was held at Suzanne's beautiful home, and I had a great time with about 30 of my friends, family, and neighbors. I received a ton of beautiful, not to mention very thoughtful and generous, gifts- of course, predominantly pink! Mom and Dana also came up from Wilmington to assist with food prep and provide a fantastic baby shower cake- direct from my favorite cake maker, the Messy Chef! :) Ella is very fortunate to already have so many people who care about her. I am very, very thankful.

I would post some pictures, but unfortunately, my camera battery died during the shower! Fortunately for me, my friend Yael, who is starting a photography business, very sweetly volunteered her services ahead of time to be the shower's "official photographer". I can't wait to see the pictures. I should be getting them Monday, and will come back and post a link, or post a few here on the blog.

We have been absolutely nonstop here in the Yokeley household, as usual. The big news this week is that Jackson had his CDSA (NC's Early Intervention Program) evaluation Monday, chiefly for expressive language concerns. Things didn't exactly get off to an auspicious start. Jackson woke for the day at 5 AM. He had a runny nose, and wasn't feeling 100%. He was very happy to see the evaluators, but didn't perform quite a few tasks that we knew that he has been able to do for months. After basically refusing to do more and running off, he fell asleep behind us on the couch at about 10 AM. This has never happened before, ever. As a result, his scores showed somewhat of a delay in every area but gross motor skills (not a surprise knowing this little runner and jumper). I'm not sure how accurate they were, but of course, the evaluators saw this one snapshot of his functioning only, when he wasn't truly himself. His speech was significantly delayed, as Eric and I already knew. He will have a formal speech and language evaluation next Tuesday, as well as a hearing test. Due to his other scores, he is also eligible for services with a developmental therapist, who will work with him in our home in such areas as fine motor skills, problem solving skills, etc. Our thought is, any extra help or playtime that Jackson gets to work on these skills is just fine with us. If he really doesn't need it, no harm, no foul. If he does, we're intervening early to get him caught up as quickly as possible. We will get our therapy at a reduced rate, which is very fortunate!

Of course, it doesn't feel good to be told that your child is delayed or any less than "perfect". I wasn't surprised to hear about his speech delay, but it still makes it more real when professionals note of it, and mention other possible delays. I experienced a variety of emotions that day, but most surprising to me was the sense of relief I felt. That we were moving forward, that it wasn't something more serious and frightening. The "what ifs" were lessened, but I still felt sadness, worry, and a little anger. Why him, and why do I even have to worry about this? Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones getting to me, but when your own child is facing difficulties, it's too easy to turn your thoughts to all the stupid people out there who give more thought to what they're going to wear for a night out than to getting pregnant a million times, and to parenting, and they never seem to have any problems. Of course, life isn't fair, and maybe ignorance truly is bliss. The bottom line is, I just don't want to see my son struggle in this way. Despite having lots of friends that Jackson and I see every week, one can still feel pretty alone when it seems you're the only one going through this type of thing.

Despite this experience, I do feel in my heart that he's going to be just fine. I also know that he's perfect to me, that he surprises me every day, and that I wouldn't trade him for the world. Jackson's M.O. is to start doing whatever it was that I've been worrying about, almost as if on cue. Sure enough, the next day, he fully participated in his Little Gym class (following directions, using the balance beam, somersaults, putting the balls away, clapping for other kids, etc.), a real first. He was coloring, adding a couple more signs, saying "hello" into the phone, brushing his hair, etc. etc. etc. He honestly did about 10 new things, the very day after the evaluation! I know that he's very young still, and he's going to be a bit of a late bloomer when it comes to certain things. That's ok!

Something I've also learned from talking with friends about this stuff- everyone worries about their child for one reason or another. It's just what moms and dads do. Today, a woman with a son who is just Jackson's age said to me that Jackson was so much bigger than her son, and that she felt sad for her son because of that. I didn't want to tell this woman I barely knew all of what I was thinking (didn't want to seem like a total weirdo :)), but her son was talking! Another example- my friend told me yesterday that her brother was very concerned that his son wasn't more Jackson's type- physical, big, doing the "boy" stuff, but yet this child is bilingual and can memorize long poems in Spanish- at under 3 years of age! It's always something, and I think in a year and a half or so, they'll all even out. I truly can't wait to look back on all this and reassure other moms with "now he'll never shut up." :)

Wow- long blog. Thanks if you've made it this far.